1st tyme i met him..at kem al-azhar,pantai morib..
we r in the same group..group 12..
i didnt notice him..just knowing his name..but not even talk much with him..
till end of the program..at the 1 corner..
we chat for a while..n starting to know him..
we exchange phone no. n wishing gudbye to others..then he went back to his place n me as well..
but dats not the end..
he started to contact me..
we become a very good fren..
25hb june 2003..
we a became a partner..
at the age of 14years old..n he is 15years old..
making a love like a monkey..hehe..
but hepy..n enjoy mylife with him..
even we are staying far away..
but we will met once in month..
go to window shopping,watching muvies,playing a games n etc..
then..our relationship was known by his parents..
ok..his parents dun like it..
yela..we all still a kids..ade hati nak bercinta..cehh..
bertindak mengikut arahan..baru bukan ank derhaka..hehe..
then..we end our relationship..
then..on year of 2005..
i met u again..in friendster..
at that tyme..u have ur own n me as well..
but we still cn become a good frens like before we did..
then..suddenly..we lost cntct again..
then..xtaw npe..gatal tgn nie nk cntct him balik..
at that tyme..u n me dun have anybody anymore..
<cewah..nie la peluang..haha>
i fallin again with him..
dunno y..myheart really hard to forget about him..
dunno what is so special about him..
personality?much more better than other guy i met before..
20hb october 2007...
we became a partner again..
i still remember..at that tyme...
he let me hear 1song..
then..u give me a one rose pink in colour..
n a bottle of stars..
n ask me to be with him AGAIN..
so..wht cn i say..hehe..
bottle of stars...
emm..then i realize...wut so special about him
die seorg yg sgt..sgt..sgt..n sgt penyabar..
melayan kerenah adila albar nie..
everytyme we fight..die xpernah meninggikn suara..
die selalu beralah..
kalau die merajuk..die pujok diri sendiri..
y me xg pujok die?bcoz i didnt notice pon ble die merajuk..
huhu..wat kind of gf la..
he is very caring and romantic person..
once he love someone..he will do everything and sacrifice for u..
on mybufday..at that tyme i was at matric johor..
he went there..to make a suprise for me..
he bring along a bouquet of flower..
bah..all the way from selangor he came to johor by his beloved naivo je..
i'm so touch at that tyme..
then..everyday in myday..
he always showering me with his love..
he will sing to me the songs..
he will hear all myproblem n try to help me..
he will comfy me when i feel very stress..
he will be always there whenever i need him....
make me..fallin..deep..deep..n deepeer.on him..
20hb october 2008..
we still in our own world..
celebrating our 1st annivesarry at genting highlands..
playing games...n went to snow world..
hepy..so hepy at that tyme..
without reliazing that it is the 1st n last we can celebrate anniversary together..
it is because...
he start to feel pain on his left leg..
the pain was increasing n it is swollen..
his ignorance make his condition become worst..
then..he was admitted to hkl..
doctor suspected he have a tumour at that leg..
benign?ok..it will cure..
but if it is malignancy?macam mane?
then..at that tyme his conditon become very3 worst..
he not able to walk anymore..he use a wheel chair to move now..T_T
his diagnosis had come out..
he was diagnose to have Ewing's sarcoma..
n..at the last stage..the cancer cell had spread to his lungs..
dark..that is only the thing that i cn see at dat tyme..
he cried on me..
cried very badly..
he never cry in front of me..but that night he cried..
he said..die dah jd OKU..
he will not able to support me anymore..
he will not able to make me hepy anymore..
n he ask me to left him..
how cn i left him in dis situation..
the tyme when he really need a support..
rse mcm nk lari balik semenanjung n jmpe die..jage die..
he need me..
he never told me that words..but i know he want me to be there..
die xpnh mengeluh kesakitan..padahal die merasakn kesakitan yg teramat sgt..
i try to give him support..even dari jaoh..
i want him to know that i really3 care about him..
at that tyme..
i realize that i really cannot loss him..
no..i cnnot live without him.....
please dont take him from me..
i pray harder..cry a lot..
really dunno wut to do..i want to be there for him..
but can not..
tibe2 rse mase tue npe la jd doctor lmbt sgt..
rse cm dirini useless sgt ble xleh nk tlg die sdgkn die sdg sakit..
i send msg to him every morning n before sleep..
even he was not replied my message..its ok..
as long as he can read..n know wut i feel dat tyme..
it is hari raya..
i went to his house..
celebrate raya togther..
hepy..to see his smile..
he smile a lot..
talk a lot..
n always said that he love me..
i feel really3 hepy..
i thought his condition become improve due to chemotherapy..
even..there is no more hair..no eyelashes..he still look like my man at that tyme..
4hb october 2009..
i went back to peninsular again for my sister wedding..
hope cn meet him again..
n i had the chance to see him..
before i went back..he stare at me..
pandangan yg penuh bermakna..
die mcm nk ckp sesuatu tp mcm xsmpi..
then..i said to him..
"tggu ayg blik k..nnt ayg cuti ayg jge eupa"
die angguk kepala n nmpk mata bergenang air mata je..
i went back..n hoping that there is many time left for me n him..
20hb october 2009..
it is our annivesary..
he cll me..to celebrate annivesary togther..
at that tyme..he cannot talk to much..
he had shortness of breath..
only a few words cn be heard..
nvrm...it is enough for me..
very2 enough for me to hear his voice..
n i really dunno that is the last tyme i cn hear HIS voice..
25hb october 2009
his conditon getting worst..even worst than before..
he cannot even to speak anymore...
he was admitted to hospital....
he cannot breath himself..need a oxygen support..
i want to go home!!!!!!!1i want to see him at that tyme..but at that tyme was a study week for final exam..
how come i can be ok after hear his condition..
then..doctor decide to give him radiotheraphy..
his condition improve a bit..
he can eat..his mother said he can eat bubur n sup n eat very a lot..
hepy..im so hepy to hear that..
n wish..i can meet him soon..
28hb october 2009
abah call (his father)...abah said..
"dila..apis nie dah tenat..die nk dgr suara dila..abh letak hp kt telinga die..dila ckp la ye..tp die xleh bercakap dah 2..tp bleh dgr..."
huh?wut cn i say at that tyme..while crying i said..
"eupa..tggu ayg balik..msti tggu ayg balik........"cry..cry..n cry..
dunno wut to do..i just cry..
i only able to say that 2 words..xmampu dh nk sebut ape2 dh..
abah took the hp n said he was crying aso..n his breathing mcm dh laju..
n abh soh doakn yg terbaek for him..
then..me n my frens dduk bce yassin..
after finish it..
i just lying on the bed for a while..try to relax my mind...
suddenly..there is one cll...
abh call again..
"dila..apis dh xde..doakn la die...ok bye"
ya allah..beratnya ujian nie ya allah..
i really cnnot think..
cannot even to stand anymore..
really dun want to believe wut i had heard ...
how come he left me alone in this world..
xsempat nk minx maaf..aku byk wat slh ngn die..
xsempat bgtaw die..how much i love him...
n..i really2 need him...
im not ready to loss him..
im not prepared myself without him....
i rushing went back to peninsular..
tp..xsempat tgk jasad die buat kali terakhir...
die dh dikebumikan....
hnya kubur die je dpt aku kunjungi....
i cnnot hear his voice anymore..
i cnnot hear his laugh anymore..
i ccnot see his smile..
i cnnot see his face..
i cnnot hear he said.."ayg~...."
20hb october 2010
it is still our annivesarry day..
hepy annivesarry eupaku..
wherever u now..hope u hear that..
now im alone..
im crying..but not because of sad..
truly,crazly,badly,damly miss EUPA!!!!!!!..
i really miss him..
wut can i do...
ya allah..kuatkan hatiku nie ..
untuk tempuhi hari2 yg mendatang..
jika ini yg terbaek untuk die..aku redha pemergian die.....
aku relakn pemergian die....
ya allah..kau tempatkan la..
mohd azrin haffiz ini bersama2 org yg KAU rahmati...
sesungguhnya..aku sayang padanya......T_T